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Apex Walks Into A Pawnshop on the Moon (and other head cannon)


#1

What’s your favorite head cannon? Aesops is always near and dear to my heat with this subject.

Was chatting with a buddy just now and we were talking about how Assimiliator works and doesn’t work with Apex. We landed on the fact that Apex can use Aesops to buy all his stuff, which created the immediate head cannon of a Squid-Alien-Computer wobbling into a pawnshop on the moon.

It quickly hit top 3 head cannon moments for me.

So for those keeping track, we have:

  1. Apex on the moon selling nothing (flipped over cards) to Aesops for 3 sweet credits.
  2. Gabe staying at Earthrise Hotel. That’s it. I just think it’s fitting when that card is in his deck.
  3. Elizabeth Mills smooth talking Weyland back to the good graces of society; and then, you know, blowing up Earthrise Motel.

#2

Masanori pays for refugee meditation booth (citadel sanctuary) by hacking adjacent vending machine (power tap).

(Is this even what you mean?)


#3

I think that’s pretty well played :slight_smile:

Though I’m not sure I’ve played all three of those cards together, so I’m not sure. But I can definitely see ole John logging off with the babes to go have some peace and quiet.


#4

Run full force [Mad Dash] into Ice Wall. “Ouch that hurt pretty bad.” Do it again. “Ouch my face.”

Goes to clan members with bloody face [Clan Vengeance]:

“Guys, look what they did to my face.”

Subsequently HQ was destroyed by angry martians with Molotovs.


#5

I’ve been trying to figure why Builder of Nations does meat damage through it’s ability. Does a Weyland goon hop through your window to sock you in the face every turn?


#6

points at Wake-Up Call

More than likely? Although it might be a little more petty. They probably built the infrastructure you’re living in, so it may be a “oh look, power surge, hope it didn’t fry anything important” Or, “hey, your package that contained that thing that should be in your grip that you havn’t installed yet? It went missing.” Or "while you were pooping a hail of bricks went through your window and smashed stuff.


#7

Actually, the more I think about it, the more I think that cards like Wake-Up Call (and, by extension, even BoN) make more sense than the classic Weyland tag punishment paradigm. Maybe NBN execs will sift through network traffic to pinpoint you and add you to their central database in order to coordinate their counterattacks, but Weyland takes more of a “call that creepy guy with the sunglasses and let him worry about where to find you today and how many of your kneecaps to break” approach.

As for Apex, I assume he’s selling Aesop bits of the Network he’s taken over, which might be useful for something (even if only to Apex-watchers trying to sift through the corrupted data for clues).

My favorite thing for Elizabeth Mills to blow up was New Angeles City Hall.


#8

My favourite thing ever was the “Aesop’s Surf Shop” meme, that became a thing back when that Hayley deck with Beach Party and Game Day was a thing (I played it too, it was fun). People were wondering how you can sell a beach party to a pawnshop, until someone photoshopped some surfboards into the card art. :slight_smile: I wish I had saved that image, it was hilarious!